Going back from ‘us’ to ‘I’ is an arduous journey. How you write the new chapter of your life is up to you.
It is natural to grieve after a breakup or divorce; letting go of the person you hoped to spend the rest of your life with is not something anyone looks forward to.
It hurts even more if you still love them, but they moved on while the marriage was still intact.
You were making plans for the future, while they were out meeting up with a divorce attorney. Right now might seem like the end of the world, but you will get over the pain if you want to.
Don’t let one failed relationship define your existence. Be strong, be happy, believe in yourself, and make the best of your remaining days on earth.
Table of Contents
Don’t Suppress the Mixed Emotions
You might start your day feeling desperate and insecure, fume with rage by the afternoon, and go to bed feeling sad and lonely.
The paradox of emotions will have you confused, but believe me when I say that’s nothing out of the ordinary.
Do not shy away from the strong impulses; express yourself and let it all out. If you want to cry at the top of your lungs, do it.
If you need to let off some steam, go to a shooting range, destroy a punching bag, or utilize the pent up energy at some place you can break stuff without being arrested.
Lean onto Loved Ones
Locking up yourself at home all day and refusing to see anyone won’t help. The silence and gloom will drive you to insanity.
Don’t shut out the people who are there to comfort you and offering help. Your friends and family are the support system you need to bounce back.
Let them pamper you and appreciate them in return. Having someone to listen to you, take your side, and say a few words of encouragement is the best medicine for your aching heart.
Ignore the Cynics
The world is brimming with villains who will try to bring you down. Snarky comments, mocking gazes, and fake sympathy are the last things you need in your life.
If such kind of cynical folks are part of your social circle, you probably need to ditch your current hang out scenes; preferably, opt for places where people know how to mind their own business.
Maintain a Healthy Lifestyle
Do not attempt to drown or suffocate your angst with booze, drugs, comfort foods, and cigarettes. Eat healthy, exercise, take care of your hygiene, and keep yourself busy.
Putting on extra pounds and damaging your liver will only make you feel worse. On the contrary, a balanced diet and active regime will allow you to look good and feel good.
Pay no Attention to your Ex
Forget about your ex; stalking them on social media, sending them drunk texts, and picking up fights will only hurt you. You can’t win them back and you shouldn’t even think about it.
You need to respect yourself and realize that you deserve better. Pestering your ex will make you look like the bad person, and grant them a sense of superiority.
Rid yourself of Daily Reminders
Delete all the photos and texts of your ex from your phone. Remove them from all your social media contact lists and block all means of communication.
Part yourself with their gifts/giveaway stuff that reminds you of them. Memorials put out of sight are soon pushed out of mind.
Meet new People
The breakup or divorce can leave a person with low self-esteem. If your ex was a toxic person, he/she may have made you feel unworthy of love.
It is easy to forget your strengths and qualities when a partner constantly undermines you. Meet new people and see yourself from their perspective; be prepared for a pleasant surprise.
Know that Time will Heal all Wounds
It may sound cliché, but time heals all wounds. Take one step at a time and you will overcome every obstacle. A lot may have changed after the divorce or breakup.
You shall eventually get used to the new responsibilities and altered routine. There will be good days and bad days, so accept the challenges head on and make an adventure out of them.
Focus on your Career
Now that you are single and independent, it is peak time to pursue your passions or focus on a career.
You could go back to school, apply to your dream job, be more productive at your current occupation, or start a business.
You have the time and freedom to explore your options and upgrade your position.
Don’t jump right into a New Relationship
Do not fall for the first person who is polite to you and get stuck in a rebound. You need time to recover from your past relationship and learn from the mistakes you made.
This time around, you must acknowledge what kind of partner you are truly looking for and how to be the best version of yourself.
Rediscover and Rejuvenate yourself
A long-term relationship can make a person forego their individuality. You need to be yourself again, rather than living as a fragment of your ex.
Do things that make you happy, regardless of how other people react. Give yourself a makeover, indulge in the passion/hobby you had to abandon, be spontaneous, and follow your heart.
Celebrate your Newfound Independence
Enjoy being single for once; take chances with no strings attached. Party with friends, plan a vacation, and just put yourself out there. Life is too short and beautiful to waste on moping around.
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