I would be remiss if I didn’t state that jobs that offer flexibility and good pay are a privilege that many working moms don’t have, my own mom included. Our social structures, workforce and economy were created by men, for men. Women are still paid less, childcare is way too expensive, and workplaces are not always parent friendly.
Every day, we’re losing brilliant moms in the workforce because of work cultures that don’t support them, and the astronomical cost of child care doesn’t make financial sense for many families. This has to change or we will continue losing great talent.
There are some great organizations and elected officials like presidential candidate Elizabeth Warren who are working to change this, and we should be advocating right alongside them.
5. It’s not about the amount of time you spend together. It’s about the quality.
Some of the best advice I have gotten since becoming a mom, which was fortunately given to me by my boss was, “It’s not about the quantity of time. It’s about the quality of time.” I have gotten better at making a concerted effort to be present when I am with my child at the end of the day. I sit down with him at dinner, I play with him and try not to check my phone. I am sometimes distracted, but that comes with the working mom territory. I am fortunate to work for an organization that prioritizes putting families and children first.
6. You are paying for daycare, so use it.
There are days when my partner drops my child off early and I pick him up late. Other days he’s one of the last to arrive and one of the first to be picked up. Some days my child is a handful (he’s a toddler) and so I take my time picking him up, just to have some “me time.” Other days I can’t wait to pick him up. It took me a while, but I rarely feel bad about having him in to daycare when, in theory, he could be home with me. I always remind myself that I am paying them a lot, so there’s no need to feel guilty.
7. The more people your child loves, and the more people who love your child, the better off your entire family will be.
It is critically important that children learn to trust and love spending time with other caring adults. Fostering bonds with trusted teachers, babysitters and family members helps children to trust that they will be okay when their parents aren’t there. Date nights and vacations are so critical to our relationships with our partners/spouses, and our overall well-being.
Being a full-time working mom shouldn’t be so hard. We have enough guilt as it is. There is a reason why we suffer from higher levels of depression and anxiety. We are all just doing the best we can, given the unfavorable circumstances we often find ourselves in. We need bold solutions that will give parents the support they need. In the meantime, we need to speak up, give ourselves a lot of grace, take care of each other and keep fighting for better work cultures.
By Emma 
